At this time last year, things were quite different. How I viewed the world, God and others was quite a bit different.
When I became a Christian on April 23, an unknown feeling came over me. It was joy; pure, never-ending joy. The excitement and energy that was felt soon after that day was different than any joy that I felt prior.
It's a hard feeling to explain. When one realizes that we as humans sin daily, it makes the idea that a perfect God would adopt us as His own that much more unbelievably amazing. On top of that, knowing that all the punishment and wrath that we should have received for said sins was placed on Jesus, making us free of said wrath, is just simply phenomenal....
....which sets the tone nicely for the amount of emotion and feeling I feel after experiencing another Vision Quest, the annual spring break trip for Volunteers for Christ (VFC).
At this time last year, I was not a Christian, though at times I felt that I was. I had be continually be reminded that I wasn't a Christian yet, but I accepted that, which didn't ruin my time at VQ. After last year's trip, I had a deep sense of optimism that I would be a Christian at some point in the near future. Of course, it would only be a month later when I became a Christian, so VQ has always had a special place within VFC for me.
This year overall has been interesting. Not bad, just interesting. It's been an extremely great year academically, athletically and socially. It's just been interesting. As this is my first school year as a Christian, it has quite a different feel to it in good and bad ways. For one, I've appreciated all the little things in life a ton more. Being able to be financially stable throughout, being able to be at an institution at UT, being able to know the people I know and have the relationships I have are all gifts and blessings that I simply cannot be more thankful of.
On the other hand, it has been a struggle at times as well. My consistency in terms of reading the Bible or acting like I should be acting have been spotty at times (maybe I'm too hard on myself...probably not). I also have an urging desire to compare myself to where others are that in their Christian walk. Being the same age as many VFC-ers here that have been Christians for a longer period of time, I always have a sense that I need to do more and more and more, so I can be on the same level as others. Motive? Way off. Right idea? I don't know.
Despite all of that, I have been sustained this entire year. Things have changed, people have changed, but I am still here, faith more intact than ever before and this week on the beaches of the Florida panhandle was a pinnacle week.
I knew that I would enjoy VQ. That was never in doubt, but I did not fully expect to feel that same joy and passion I felt when I was saved. It's overwhelming at times, but is quite possibly one of the best feelings a person can feel.
Every message, every conversation, every worship song, every picture, every moment all convey what God has done in my life over the past two years-ish. Looking back, knowing what has been done to get me to the place that I am is quite chilling to think about (See http://robbyv92.blogspot.com/2011/07/my-testimony.html). The amount that He has done was evident at VQ. A community like VFC where college students join is rare as it is, but being able to be part of a group of Christian college students who love, not strive, to talk about God and what he does/has done provides a great atmosphere and it is beyond exhilarating for me to be a part of it all. The people that have made my journey possible (or, rather, those that God has used to make it possible) are always a part of me and it is great to see them and have the relationships continue.
I AM BEAMING HERE!!!!!!!!!! To say I am excited is a drastic understatement. Knowing that I am a Christian is awesome. I know there is a lot that I have left out from this thought, but knowing that He knows me and loves me is a feeling that no words can ever describe.
Singing a pitchy version of Tangled doesn't quite describe it either.
"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. And I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses." - Ezekiel 36:25-29a
ReplyDelete"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." - 1 John 4:1a
"He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." - Colossians 1:13-14
"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person - though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die - but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." - Romans 5:6-11