Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Circle of Life

A church is supposed to be a home. A symbolic home, meant to serve as a sacred place on earth to symbolize what is in store in heaven after death. A church is a special place, like a jigsaw puzzle, made up of many parts, may units, many different features that make it a unique combination (see 1 Corinthians 12:12). The people that make up a church are all care. The body is compassionate, concerned about each member, quick to pray for someone or simply be encouraging and say that one thing that makes someone's day that much better.

I guess I just need God to remind me of that daily. 

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Transitioning always seems to be tough and I have struggled to understand why. The trials of moving back into a place after being removed for months on end is understandably not totally easy. Despite anything I do or anywhere I go, life continues to fly by at a rate and speed that it is impossible to catch. Coming back into that place and realizing a lot has gone without you takes some getting used to. 

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Welcome Week at a campus the size of a small to medium-sized town is always an adventure. People flood in from all directions at the same time. Cars are jammed everywhere; Freshmen are confused, struggling to find their classrooms; organizations try to obtain as many people as possible. Welcome Week for a campus ministry is just as hectic, just as busy, just as stressful. Activities every day, maybe several times a day. Conversations are endless, between new people and veterans, old friends that haven't seen each other in months, new people trying to gain a foothold in this crazy environment that is college. Everyone trying to get a sense of everyone. For a veteran, there is a certain pressure that tempts one to speak with as many people as possible, or rather feel that he or she needs to speak to as many people as possible. Failure seems imminent with this mindset, but the thought still lingers. 

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Then there's problems that life tends to throw at a person. Common problems that can be identifiable. 

"I have trouble with change." 
"Transitioning is difficult to deal with."
"I have problems, but I don't want to be a burden to someone or burden someone with said problems."
"I can take care of said problems myself." 
"Can someone please ask me what is wrong!?!?"
"I don't want to ask for help because it makes me look weak and/or inadequate."
Guilty on all counts. One would think that these problems would be solved by now or prevented after dealing with them over and over. It's like you're running on a hamster wheel and the cycle keeps repeating and repeating itself, making life a continuous loop of having problems, dealing with them, feeling better and then being tempted again into believing that these problems are either A) serious enough to make life that much harder for us, or B) just plain lies. 

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My family constantly would tell me that asking for help was something that my brother and I should do or consider. I never liked doing it, feeling that I was not capable of figuring something out myself if asking was the only remaining option. In retrospect, I guess I should have realized that, according to the Bible, people are not really capable of doing anything perfectly (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Romans 5, etc.). As much as I deny it, I need help. I struggle, I mess up, I need guidance, assistance, care, among other things. 

I guess I just need God to remind me of that daily. 


Saturday, August 18, 2012

Thanks God! I see what you did there...

Coming back to college in the fall, the first time I see any of my friends again, the question of how my summer was is always at the top of the list of things asked. Naturally, I suppose. Leaving Knoxville for months on end usually ends up being either really quick, really long or somewhat uneventful. I always wonder why that was for such a period of time, this year being no different, especially when one throws into the mix the feeling of knowing that I had to do something with my summer this time around.

Enter Branson, Missouri. A southwestern city that is known for the outdoors, the theatres and the constant amount of tourists of many ages (including many on the right end of the age spectrum in retirement). This place was a place where the family and I never considered traveling to on one of our many vacations. Pretty much, I was okay that I would ever end up in this city.

So, of course, it would be a bit odd to then consider that on May 22, I was on a couple of two hour flights to said Missouri city--and I could not have been more excited. Flying into Springfield, MO, consisted of green, green, more green, a few bales of yellow, more green and then a hint of grayish color marking the skyline of downtown way off in the distance. Up until that point, I did not think of Missouri having a ton of hay bales. I was soon mistaken. This would be a common theme throughout my time in Missouri.

So, first blessing of the entire experience came at the airport. Arriving on time for the first shuttle, I failed to realize that my shuttle reservation had apparently not made it to the driver of the van, so I was set to wait four more hours for the next shuttle. Anxious enough as I was to actually get up and go, sitting around by myself in an unfamiliar airport was not a great-sounding idea. Thankfully, I was able to squeeze into the final spot and averted any kind of wait. There was plenty of room in the van (but I'm small).

But why mention this? Why the excitement of being in a place I wasn't thrilled to be in any other time? In a way, Branson was an oasis, a place to get away and be changed. A place where, despite any prior belief, the littlest thing becomes magnified and the littlest of people turn your thoughts and beliefs in a totally opposite direction.. Specifically, Kamp (yes, with a K. That's how we do things here) is a place unlike many other places. It's different, it's amazing, it's blessed.

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The road along Lake Taneycomo's east bank winds its way up, down, sideways all the way to its end, but one driveway on the left hand side stands out from among the rest. Two doors--two big, red barn doors swing open, exposing a tall water slide, a nice-sized pool and a humongous statue of a guy that looks like a mix between a scarecrow and a hillbilly. A banner in red and blue marks this place to be K-Kountry, "The Happiest Place on Earth." A fairly lofty slogan, sure, and one that certainly comes with high expectations when one hears it, but its doable. It's achievable. It's a sign of things to come.

Stepping out of the van into my new home for the next two months, I am humbled fairly quickly. The driveway is filled with college students filing in, unpacking, unloading, talking with people they might have seen from prior years, having those somewhat awkward conversations with people they have just met...sound familiar, anyone? I guess going through my fair share of Welcome Weeks and Orientations had prepared me for such. Note, I'm at a sports camp, so there are quite a few people that obviously look athletic or very well in shape. I am not so much either. Okay, not a huge deal. This certainly wasn't the first time I'd been with a bunch of athletes. The next thing one notices among the swarms of college students is the amount of shirts or tanks with Greek letters--all of this is now hitting me at once. One of my many social weaknesses is connecting to athletes and Greek system members, Christian or not. I don't know, it's just been harder for me to connect to certain groups of people...I just had never been in an environment where the majority was one or the other or both. Welcome to K-Kountry.

It constantly boggles my mind when I think back to kamp. Thoughts of why I was supposed to be there, why did I have to work with everyone from one social group, how can I connect with 7-11 year old kids constantly ran through my mind three months ago. So many unanswered questions, so much doubt, so many nerves. Leaving two months later and the doubt and confusion was changed to confidence and clarity. Being dressed up as anything and everything under the sun. Bellyflopping numerous times because a group of kids want you to. Screaming your head off in support at all 200-300 (give or take) kids when they take the podium at opening day because you could not be happier for each kid to be there. The memories make it what it is. God makes it what it is. Whether one believes in God or not, it is hard to not see that something is being done on the lake shore in Branson.

To the staff: I mentioned at the end of staff week my concerns, my worries, my differences to all you guys. My job easily could have gone in any direction in terms of success or productivity. I know for a fact that my job could not have happened how it happened without you all. The constant signs of encouragement, support and building me up were not unnoticed and were definitely all appreciated. Posting all the photos brought back waves and waves of nostalgia, you have no idea! The many conversations, the many memories, the many friendships are certainly not forgotten here in Knoxville, Tennessee. I love all of you dearly. I miss all of you terribly. I want to keep in touch with you all (please?). Can't wait to see you soon! Thank you for making this summer one of the best (and my favorite) summers ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3TKtO9K9OM