The beginnings of middle school. The time where independence from the structured formation of elementary school merges with the all-around social awkwardness that encompasses every student in each class. We're all in the same boat. We're all coming to a point in life that serves as the take-off platform for what lies in store for the future. We're all in the same boat.
Part of me wishes I knew that more back then.
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The school on the mountain in a historic area overlooking the valley provided a solid academic structure with a great athletic program and caring people overall. My first year at that school was memorable for probably more bad things than anything. It was a rocky time...
As I reminisce and am reminded of the trials and tribulations that I went through during my first year in middle school, the social aspect of life played a major role in shaping who I am now. Until then, I had never experienced such a natural social life. Until then, the people in my classes were people I had known for several years. Until then, I had considered myself personable, outgoing, and friendly. Middle school definitely showed how much work/help to my social life I actually needed.
As is the case I guess with almost every middle-schooler, I was extremely awkward. Thinking about it, we all were. None of us really had it all together, even though many would act like they did. I don't know, I feel like I was different somehow. I was really uptight, confrontational, gullible (maybe over-dramatic to an extent). Words like these were words I didn't think described me. But they did. There were plenty of in-class arguments, lashing out at many sarcastic comments, and just overall not reacting in a way that was probably appropriate for the situation.
I remember reactions mostly from certain incidents. To this day, I struggle to even look at that year's yearbook in fear of digging up old memories or old incidents that happened. I might revert back to my old habits of either blaming others for things happening or dwelling in self-pity for not reacting the way I should. It's dumb, I know. Back then, though, it was how I thought, for better or for worse.
I know this is not I should be reacting. Believing what I believe, I think that the events that occurred during my middle school years were previously planned to happen and they happened for a reason. These trials were put in front of me so that it could be seen how I'd react. Afterwards, I'd be able to change how I act and make myself a better person. This was a planned happening. I thank God that that year happened. I would not be the same person if I had not gone through what I went through. It helped shape me, mold me into the easygoing, personable, friendly person that I try to be on a daily basis.
To the people that I call friends and classmates from middle school: As I said, this was an awkward time. I absolutely consider myself to have been extremely awkward especially during this time. I want to both apologize and greatly thank you for my three years on the hill. The former because of all the blowups, overreactions, and drama from me personally. Simply put. The latter because, at the same time, my eighth and ninth grade years seemed to be almost mirror opposites from seventh grade. Thank you for making the overall middle school experience a (positively) memorable time for me. You guys are, in the end, what made that time in my life so important. I don't exaggerate when I say that this time helped to change who I am. Ya'll play a key role in that.
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